The Neighbours Return

Some of you will remember the ongoing saga with the neighbours. The 5am cricket game that never ended, etc.

I was out on Friday night celebrating the birth of Princess Mary’s baby, oblivious to the confrontation that would soon be before me. I wandered home and noticed someone standing on the corner of my street, between my house and the neighbours. I see that it’s a bogan hotbabe (ie what a bogan would call hot but what is fucking rank to me) and she’s calling into the neighbour’s house, telling someone to hurry up.

I approach her and prepare to move past her.

“Want something to eat, mate?” she says in a bogan voice, offering some sort of food.

I’ve never been one to take food from Nazi bogan cricket players.

“Nah, I’m right.”

I head inside and sleep.