When I was young I never really thought much of toothbrushes. They were just another random household object that I could stick up the cunt of my unsuspecting female neighbourhood playmate.
Then I get up and thought they could be pretty 'radical'. But that was in the mid 90's when pretty much anything apart from homosexuality and parents was pretty radical.
And now, with the invention of the Colgate 360 toothbrush, my view on toothbrushes has once again been transformed, like those cars in that show I used to love as a kid: Pimp My Ride.
I saw the toothbrush sitting in its packaging and thought nothing of it. It looked pretty unradical. The handle was fluro. I mean, what the FUCK is with that? But then I picked up the packaging and noticed that it was no ordinary toothbrush. There was a squishy rubber thing on the outside: this toothbrush will clean your tongue and cheeks too. Shit, it's like a wholemouthbrush.
I removed it from its packaging and prepared to brush. Wow, the handles are satisfyingly squishy. The bristles are out of this world too, always a good quality to have on a toothbrush. There was green plastic/rubbery "finishing polishers". Sounds like something you might get in a shady massage parlour, but I wasn't complaning.
I brushed. Oh how I brushed. I brushed my tongue and my cheeks. I felt clean. Too clean. No... just clean enough. Yes. I felt a 360 degree cleanliness.
Colgate's new 360 toothbrush really is the greatest thing to ever happen to the world (of toothbrushes) in recent years. I shudder to think of the features that they'll put in their new toothbrushes and just how many more degrees they can fit in there.
6.5/7 (It should have been black. All toothbrushes should be black.)