Another First Date
It started out incredibly well. We had decided to meet at a trendy bar in the city known for being a bit of a place to go for first dates. Normally I wouldn’t go to places like this but I was pretty eager to impress. After our first “designer cocktail” I made a passing remark that I was pretty hungry because we had to skip lunch at the office (I made up a fake job to impress her). She seemed delighted at the fact that I was suffering from malnutrition. “Wow, me too,” she said. “Let’s go out to dinner, I don’t like places like this anyway.” Wow! She doesn’t like places like this either. She even says wow like me! I told her both of these things and she seemed happy that I had gone to a place I wouldn’t like to impress her.
Fate chose where we would eat dinner. We were walking towards the restaurant district in Sydney when we both spotted an enchanted little Asian fusion place. It’s so hard to find Asian fusion food in Sydney! When we both saw the place we turned to each other and simultaneously said “let’s go there… teeheehee… okay… I find Rove… wears too much… distilled water… this is freaky.” We exhaled and walked into the restaurant.
But it all fell apart at dinner. I thought she would be funny, being a female comedian and everything, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Now I’ll admit that I’m prejudice against female comics, since they come third in my “hierarchy of hilarity” behind male comedians and mimes, but since we had such a connection I was willing to give Kitty a go. But her jokes were just awful. I said “you just ain’t funny, bitch,” and stormed out, leaving her to deal with the bill.
I went home and had sex with a mime I picked up.