The Road To Raw

The last one for a while.

So I ended up in prison today after a hilarious series of accidents and mistaken identities (don’t ask, LOL). Did you know that in prison they do this thing with the new people (they call them “fish”) where they line them up and the more senior inmates take turns in picking one to take back to their cell and sodomise.

I didn’t get picked. Which was good, because my understanding of sodomy is that it hurts, even if you do it right. But at the same time I was pretty sad because no one wants to feel left out. I’m really self-conscious and I started wondering what was wrong with me. I really would have liked the validation that came from being breached by a senior inmate.

*sigh*

Oh well.

Meh. Played.

I try to avoid getting an erection in the shower because it just creates extra skin for me to clean.

But, yea, it's pretty difficult because my fetish is having a flaccid penis.

"I like the boy" - Bert Newton.

The only way I'd spend a lot of money on my girlfriend is if there was a product called 'My Girlfriend' that was basically an Xbox 360 with tits and spoilers.

The idea is okay, execution is very poor.

It would be cool to be a Siamese twin if your twin was of the opposite sex and extremely hot.

Good luck trying to escape.

Another page from jobe's 'Book of Wrong'

Last night I had a wet dream.

I was at my favourite theme park, Wet n Wild, swimming, when all of a sudden this really hot chick comes over, sweaty from the heat. She pushed me under the water, pulled me out of the wave pool, pissed on me, spat on me, threw a bucket of water on me, and then I totally came.

I thought the more recent ones were better? Just goes to show you...

I think they could bring back conscription if they made getting picked for the war more fun, like a reality TV show where the best contestants go through first.

It'd be hell emotional when your favourites died in battle. But they would play a touching montage of them during the show.

Oooooo scathing comments on society today. Ie shit.


Argh. So shit there, Jobe. You need to be FUNNIER.