A lot of people don’t know this about me but I have a Free Willy. I befriended him a while ago when he was in captivity and, long story short, released him.
Last summer I was trying to impress this girl I was going out with. She was sort of out of my league and I was running out of ways to show off to her. I decided to take a trip to show her my Free Willy. After some convincing she decided to come. It wasn’t easy. She was a model and hated the idea of nature and getting dirty.
On the second day there I took her out on the boat to where I usually saw my Free Willy: Whale Cove (it’s native for ‘Cove of the Whales’). I took my harmonica out of my pocket (the girl was a bit shocked to see it) and play the special song I had written for my Free Willy, “Like a Rolling Stone”.
My Free Willy popped up out of the water and said hey, what’s up and rolled onto his back. The chick was fucking LOVING IT. I was so going to score that night (back at the log cabin?).
But then the faggot ruined everything.
My Free Willy splashed her in a playful manner. It went all over her. Including in her hair and not limited to her expensive hair. She HATED getting wet and got mad pissy. She yelled at me and forced me to take her home.
We never spoke again.