Saturday, March 03, 2007
Friday, March 02, 2007
They Said It Couldn’t Be Done
So the other night I was out with The Girl, having a bite to eat BECAUSE THE BITCH HAD TO SHOUT ME DINNER FOR MISSING MY FUCKING RAW EVENING HOW COULD SHE DO SUCH A THING.
All was going well until we got to dessert.
There were only two items on the dessert menu that evening:
- Some apple thingy with balsamic and shit
- An orange and chocolate and ice cream and weird thing
So we discussed each and which we would each like to try. But it was hard. On the one hand you had the nice refreshing bite of the apple, but the orange would have a delicious citrus punch.
As you can imagine, the argument was getting pretty heated/carried away (“Bitch, how you like dem apples”, etc). That was until we both paused and realised that we had done something incredible and compared apples and oranges.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Fucken Hell I'm a Bit Sleepy Ey
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I need a project to keep me occupied. And it must be bigger than the last.
Fuck this is tricky.
I reckon a drug addiction would probably help. Certainly can’t hurt.
My Celebrity Encounter
“Symptoms… may improve when drinking alcohol.”
I’m not drunk, I’m getting treatment/CURED!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Road to Raw – The End of the Road
I rocked up a bit late and headed through the doors for the contestant briefing.
“Who are you?” ask one of the organisers.
“Oh, he’s on first,” joked the MC.
Or at least I THOUGHT she was joking. The set list was read and, yes, I was FUCKING FIRST UP.
It was pretty much over from that point as I kissed the dream goodbye.
So I did my shit. I went okay.
I didn’t win.
I lost to some “political” comedian that was a state finalist last year and some other dude that I didn’t care for too much that made jokes about The Gays.
People said that I featured in their own top five. I put my performance closer to “top four” but whatever.
So I’m pretty much suicidal at the thought of being remarkably less funny than last years Raw finalists. Need to re-evaluate life, blog, etc. I have failed you, The Internet.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sometimes All You Need is Headlines
/avoids cupboard sex gag
The Road to Raw
There are only 2 days left.
I am so underprepared.
I've been so nervous that I'm shaking and I can't speak.
This is so fucking bad!
Nah, not really. I'm pretty chilled about the whole thing. This will be a walk in the park. Which is good, because the whole thing happens at Moore Park, which is a park (apparently).
Now if you'll excuse I'm going to go and listen to Radiohead and cry myself to sleep because I'm sooooo freakin worried.