Got It Licked

Fuck. I just CANNOT stop licking people lately.

It just keeps on happening. I'll be talking to someone about something very civilised, then BANG, I fucken licked the cunt.

Girls don't seem to mind it too much, but the dudes get a bit uppity. I tell them to chill, but it doesn't help much. Especially if I lick them again while I tell them.

Those with no hands need not apply...

I was on the train today when I saw something that disproved everything I previously knew.

A crossing guard got on the train... CARRYING THE STOP/WALK SIGN WITH HER!!!!

Fucking hell. I thought they left that shit at the job. Imagine taking that huge sign to and from work on the train.

Not only that, but the sign that she can could be EXTENDED like one of those pool skimmers. Who needs a crossing guard sign that's 15 feet tall?

Shattered

I think that I would be a very good musical performer. I would smash my instruments very often. 1) Because it is great and no one ever does it, and 2) I don't have to pay to ship them overseas. Just buy and destroy.

The Popular Crowd

Maaaaan shit has NOT been good lately. I thought it'd be cool moving out of home but it's just terrible. The place I'm in.... awful.

My neighbours on BOTH sides are packs of wild Brangelina's. The things they say to me...

I just don't know what to this. This is so bad. I want to go home....

Happy

Gosh I'm so happy. I returned to the old hunting ground last night to find that not only was the Coles finally opening THAT NIGHT, but there has also been a Gloria Jeans open up while I was gone.

Love it.

We drove past the Coles to see if anyone had "ice grilled" it. So far it remains safe.

Sample

So sampling worked pretty well for hip hop. I think to take blogging into the new world I’m going to start sampling other people’s blogs.

Like I’ll take a really awesome headline, mix it with a really killer opening paragraph from a rare as fuck Blue Background recording. Then I’ll just add some of my words over the top and it’ll be mind-blowing.

Reading blogs won’t be shit anymore (yeah, word life. I promise).

What’s Up With... Haneef?

"Call Me Chief (It Rhymes With Haneef)"

Things I Know About... The War in Iraq

• Comes in four designer colours.
• Feeds 4-6 people.
• Has some nutty aromas and a clean finish.
• Probably nothing to do with tea-bagging.
• Is now a Wireless Hotspot.
• Not the War in Iran
• Also not the War in Gibraltar (hmmm... more of a battle)
• Fought with a bear once. Not sure who won.
• May assist in witnessing the fitness.
• Afraid to admit that it depends on you in the relationship.