Bolt Cutters

This forward thing has gotten out of control.

Be careful for what you wish for.

Considering doing a new... set of cutlery

But how? This is killing me.

I mean, I have the perfect sizes, the perfect colours and really great quality. I could be happy, but, still, it feels like I need to try something new (of cutlery).

Am I just thinking of changing my cutlery for the sake of a change? Because deep down my greatest fear is that I’m a creature of habit and people will discover this fact and expose me for the fraud that I am. And my cutlery is my most VISIBLE thing to change.

Yes... I’ll get a new set of cutlery. Any set. The first set I see.

I'm... In.... Chains... (Baby, I'm In Chains)

Remember this post.

Mission accomplished. Yes already.

You know, like, whatever.

You know how sometimes you just can't be fucked?

You should get that looked at. I don't like not being able to fuck you. Not wanting to fuck is a problem (with you).

I don't care what bleeds.

Overheard

“You should shave your balls. She might be more willing to suck you off then.”
“As if. What, do YOU shave your balls?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Bullshit!”
“I do. You don’t see me. What do you think I do on the weekends? I’m up in the bathroom, trimming away like a madman.”

Chain Gang

My next mini-goal in life (I have like 300 going at any time) is to be the source of an email forward. If I can get an email that I started sent back to me by someone I didn't send it to originally, then I'll be happy.

My first attempt is a modification of an already popular forward.

Let's see how it goes!

One Leg Wonder

Today I found a note in my phone AKA MY BLOG NOTEPAD FOR IDEAS ON THE RUN (TM) an odd note, saying “one leg wonder”, that was undoubtedly an idea for a post. But what was it an idea FOR?

I vaguely remember putting it in the phone about 4am when I woke up for a few seconds. Apart from that I’ve got nothing.

I remember that at 4am it was utterly hilarious. I also remember thinking something along the lines of “put more details in this note or you will forget, bah fuck that sleep instead”.

Sorry, I’m lost. Who’s winning? Is that the same coat guy from before?

Don’t Get Shitty (With Me)

Man, what happened? This blog has been pretty shit lately. Either I’ve been too busy, or I haven’t had the net, or I’ve been moving, or I’ve been indulging in my new-found love of making charts in Excel. Whatever the case may be, very little quality blogging has been happening lately. The quality has been falling.

Falling

I really want to get shit happening again, but I’ve having so many baby mama drama (of blog). I still don’t have a good net connection, I’m still pretty busy, I still don’t have the spark, and Excel still fucking rocks with its chart functionality (I rated it 5 stars on my Excel chart-making function review blog).

But I want to get back to where we were.

Climbing. A metaphor for what this blog will aim to do (not actual climbing. Metaphor).

Four Questions I Have About The Horse Flu

• Is it a pox (upon our horse houses)?
• Is there a whores flu? (probably not really related to horse flu)
• Does it eat salmon?
• Can I borrow it real quick to ask a girl out?

Nice House (not the TV show)

Nice house, faggot. Your curtains really match the fucking drapes and shit.

Lost your number.

Lost your number. Give it to me again. No. No I just lost it. Yeah, again.

Look. Can I just have it?

Let's Be Clear Here

Guys, writing to you know just to let you know that I'm pretty sure that I have equine flu.

So you might want to avoid this blog for a while or something. Not that many of the older readers need a reason. But still, one of the symptoms of equine flu is caring too much/nausea.

I've Let Her Down

I used to love her so much. I think I still do.



But I let her down, and there's no coming back from this.

During Happier Times

Her and the "New" Boyfriend