Hopeless Romantic

I hate that the plots of romantic comedies are so fucking predictable.

I want the guy that writes the blurbs for the movies (as if a girl could write professionally) to become heaps jaded and not give a fuck anymore.

So 'America's Sweethearts' would go from:

"After they've broken up, a married movie star couple still have to go out and promote the movie they made together while they were in love, even though they now hate each other. (Cons. Advice: Some Coarse Language, Adult Themes)"

To:

"A Hollywood couple broke up but have to promote this movie together because they're greedy. They hate each other now but they'll find that they love each other by the time they finish promoting the movie. Probably during the premiere. (Cons. Advice: Some Coarse Language, Adult Themes)"

In The News

"Drinkers who quench their thirst with four or more middies of beer will be defined as binge drinkers."

They need to stop defining things.

Not only am I morbidly obese, but now I'm a binge drinker.

Fucken hell ey.

WTOMH Live: Review

So last night wasn't my best effort.

Mental note: fucking up 40% of your act doesn't equal a good show