What's This On My Hand?

Ahhhh I don't know. Get it off!

Masturbation

They tell young guys caught masturbating that if you keep touching it then it will fall off.

But that's not effective. Everyone knows it won't fall off.

I think it would stop a lot of young guys masturbating if they said "it will get smaller if you rub it". Because everyone knows that the size of an erection gets smaller over time.

There would be that thought in the back of your mind "maybe I'll need more than a 2/3 erection when I'm 50..."

Acting

I am really upset because I joined this cross-dressing theatre troupe for gay guys but I've just been cast in a male role so I don't get to cross-dress.

Kind of Like Training Day

I was on the train the other day and these stupid girls were talking.

One mentioned a movie and said "We should see that. I heard it's like Fast and Furious but not as fast or furious."

And she was serious.

Pretty sure she'd just seen a Volvo commercial and gotten confused.

Hairy Topic

They say that the best hair is strong, manageable and shiny. Which makes me think that the best hair is a 15 year old kid with really bad acne working at Maccas. Also comes in a variety of styles.

New Joke

Going to open mic comedy nights is kind of annoying sometimes because there are a lot of comedians and they tend to cover the same well-worn topics like relationships, bad gigs they’ve had, current events, pop culture, sex, things that happened to them last week, their parents, Facebook, all that sort of stuff. But I want to try something different, I want to walk the… unwalked path…

So here it is:

Joke - When I use shampoo, the last thing on my mind is hexagons. Because they’re totally different things, man.

Answer - LOL

I don't know if people are ready for it yet.