I get a lot of emails telling me that people like my tales of love and romance, but they are often derogatory towards women or unnecessarily violent or fucked up in some way. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you a different kind of love story. It's a story that happened to me a few years ago, and it's very cute.
So this chick that I was fucking around with came over one day. I opened the door and she went straight in for a kiss.
"Mmm, you taste like bread," she howled.
"Yeah, I've just eaten some bread," I grumbled seductively.
"Cool, I really like bread."
"I thought so. Because you commented on it and picked the taste and everything..."
We looked at each other romantically and laughed and the absurdity of our conversation.
"So do you want to go upstairs and screw?" I asked.
"Well I didn't come here to eat fucken bread, did I?"
I often find myself thinking back to that day. She was so sweet and funny. It was just a perfect day. She wasn't there to eat bread, it was so true. My text had asked her if she wanted to come over and eat something else entirely.