A Quick Poem

Did you check those vegetables twice before you ate them?
Did you do that?
Vegetables
Questions
One and the same?
Questionables.

Good News!

That article you wrote is excellent. We're going to lead with it tomorrow. You're going to be on the front page!

Keep up the great work, champ.

A Question for the Guys

Do you ever put your flaccid penis in a toilet paper roll and get an erection and imagine that your penis is inside a tight girl's vagina who has a toilet paper roll in said vagina.

Get Me a Phantom Comic, Bro

You ever at home, start feeling really dizzy and get the overwhelming feeling that the insects on the wall are trying to talk to you? Trying to tell you something?

"Press your body up against the wall, Jobe.
See how we're all doing it?
Pressing out bodies against the southern wall?"

One chimes in with "I have a thorax!"

And we all die a little.

Bad Joke of the Day - It's all about perspective

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=653664

"A FAMILY is planning legal action against one of Sydney's best- known pubs after being served food that allegedly contained human excrement."


Made to eat shit, that's pretty bad. Normally...

"The family had made several complaints to the hotel staff about its service and prices, but not enough to warrant the faeces serving, Mrs Whyte said."

At least they only had to take the restaurant's shit once. The staff had to take it "several" times.

Surviving Singledom: A Jobe Exclusive

Being a single person in this scary, modern world isn't always easy. There are times when your singledom can feel like a depressing handicap of emotions, like gout.

So I made a list of things to do when I feel depressed about being single. I thought I'd share it with you too in case there are other sad singles reading.

• Take the pet for a walk. The fresh air will do wonders.
• Treat yourself to a nice meal for one at a classy restaurant.
• Read a book.
• Buy a hat.
• Show hat to neighbour I have a secret crush on, in the hopes that she will like me more for having good taste in hats.
• Make bread from scratch.
• Take bread to neighbour I have a secret crush on, in the hopes that she will like me more for having good kitchen skills.
• Spend a few hours convincing neighbour I have a secret crush on that I'm not gay.
• Watch your favourite movie of all time, while eating your favourite berries.