Stuck Standing

I had a sort of profound moment the other day.

I was walking past a daycare centre and a kid inside was crying pretty bad. Then I noticed that there was a huge puddle of milk in the gutter nearby.

"Don't cry over spilt milk," I felt them telling the child, even if he/she had nothing to do with it.

But for like 5 seconds after seeing that milk and hearing that kid I just couldn't move.

You're a Training Girl

I caught a different train to my normal one the other day. It was kind of weird, like I was cheating on my girlfriend.

I didn't plan it. It just happened and it felt good. The people were more attractive; they seemed happier, smarter. I think I could get use to getting the later train.

But I think it's a mistake. I've done this before. At first everything seems better with the new train. But after a while you learn the little quirks of everyone and it begins to feel stale and, well, shit. And then you get yet another train in the hopes of spicing things up.

But I can't do that. There just aren't enough trains that go through Stanmore in the morning.

Fame

I think I'm destined to become famous.

Not because I'm good at anything, but because I have an overwhelming urge to have children and give them stupid names.

Totally incoherent things like Inertia, Box and Butch.

Touch My Cusp

A lot of girls say it's good to be born on the cusp of two star signs.

I don't know about that, but it's pretty bad being born on the cusp of two sock sizes.

I just can't get perfectly fitting socks. It's so depressing.

LOLphobia

So I was out looking at a new place to live the other day, because hey moving is about as much fun as sodomy and I just LOVE that so I thought 'why the fuck not ey?'.

At one of the places I was dropping some pretty awesome jokes. Being so funny it's hard for me to turn it off, you know?

Anyway, we're at one place at I notice that a hotbabe around my age is trying really hard to not laugh at my jokes. She keeps putting her face over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

It's fair enough when I'm not telling her the jokes because it would just come across as eavesdropping. But when we come face to face and I drop a joke, she is still stifling the laugh.

What's the go?

Let it out, young hotbabe. It could have been a great laugh. We could have been together forever (not in a creepy way. Together forever for me is like... two weeks...).