How Not TO Pick Up MILFs

"Hey, he's cute. What's his name?"
"Jayden."
"Oh, just like that kid that was killed."
"...what?"
"Yeah. Oh... fuck... what was his last name again?"
"..."
"Leskie! That's it. Jayden Leskie. Oh man, I knew I'd remember."
"..."
"Yeah, that was pretty tragic. Hope it doesn't happen to your kid."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Because... it would be kind of eerie if the same thing happened..."
"..."
"You know... with them having the same name and everything..."
"..."

Attn: Arguing Bogan Couple

Just because this train is nicer and more "homely" than your house, you don't need to have your arguments in it.

Re-Abled

The other day I was on the train and I was in that seat that says "please vacate this seat for elderly or less mobile passengers".

At one of the stops, this large group of less mobile passengers got on (it must have been an outing or something).

I decided not to get up for them.

They gave me death stares.

How am I the bad guy? There was so many of them that I was in the minority.

After a little while I started feeling guilty, so I got up. A few crippled ones slide in.

I notice there's one with dud legs, so I decide to sit on his lap since he won't feel it (just like when that slut of an ex-girlfriend sat on my lap after telling me that she sucked off Trevor Chaplin).

I thought I was doing the right thing; being efficient and making him feel useful again.

Apparently not.

I don't understand life.

Fully Sick - Update

Regarding this.

I wasn't sick. Yay.

I have made it through the 18 months living here without throwing up once!

Hey Babe...

Hey babe.

Sorry I couldn't come to your New Years Eve party last night, my phantom limb was acting up pretty bad again :(

Hope you had a good time.

See you soon.

Bullying

I rode a mechanical red bull today.

It was an invigorating experience.

Frequently Asked Question

I've been getting heaps of emails lately asking the following:

Q: Jobe, who is this Tsendiin Damdin dude you always talk about?

A: Tsendiin Damdin is a retired Mongolian judoka. At the 1980 Summer Olympics he won the silver medal in the men's Half Lightweight (65 kg) category. Dur.

Internet is Easier Than Life

So I was talking in the real life to someone I know from the internet land.

We're catching up and I tell him what I've been up to lately.

He says what I think is "oh, how exciting."

I think it's a statement. But then there's this awkward pause.

Turns out he was waiting for MY response because he actually said "oh, how exciting?"

That awkwardness wouldn't have happened if we were talking on MSN like usual.

I guess people are right when they say that internet people meeting up is awkward. It's all about punctuation.

Tasty

There's some milk and olive flavoured hand cream in my bathroom right now. I'm not sure how it got there.

It doesn't make sense.

Milk and olive isn't a type of hand cream, it's a very minimalist and unsatisfying meal.

Palmolive need to get their acts together quick smart.