King Among Men

I just went outside to take out the garbage (I don't go outside for many reasons) and a confused looking guy near a delivery van came over to me.

He asked me if my block of units was unit 1.

Unsure how to answer that question, I said "this is number 4..."

He looked even more confused and said "well, the address they gave me was unit 1, 40-42".

That made more sense.

"Oh, well yeah, this is number 4. Just keep heading down the road to number 40, and look for unit 1 there."

But this didn't help him.

"This is unit 4?"

"No, this is number 4."

And then it hit me. This guy had no concept of apartment blocks.

What kind of delivery guy has no concept of apartment blocks?

What suburb does he live in?

I'm still buzzing from the encounter.

Differently Abled

I got busted in a disabled toilet a few hours ago.

All of the stalls were full and I really needed to go, so I went in the open, empty, inviting handicap stall.

A knock came on the door just as I finished.

It was a disabled man (one leg or some shit I dunno wasn't paying attention).

With sarcasm soaking his voice, he asked "oh, and what's your disability?"

"Well, I lost the ability to use any of the other stalls."

I Can Change, I Can Change

Because I always have so many fucking coins I always pay for my morning coffee with exact change.

It's not really that amazing, but one of the girls at the coffee shop totally flips out about it. Like my ability to conjur exact change every time means I'm some kind of sorcerer or something.

I think she secretly longs for the day that my magic wears out and she has to get me change for a $5.

Horror-Scope

So Facebook has started sending me a Daily Cancer Horoscope.

It's been good so far because all I've been getting is "nope, you won't get it today".