Um...

Having contradictory hobbies is cool now or something?

Nicey Ricey

Not you, Stephanie Rice!

I'm talking about those rice cakes that are always in ads and media to symbolise boring diet food. You know the drill, fat women wants to diet but her only option is a sad old rice cake. FROWN! POUT!

I begrudgingly purchased them in a pathetic attempt to become less of a chubby ugger.

Well, turns out that THESE THINGS ARE FUCKING AWESOME! HOLY SHITBALLS!

They taste like popcorn. It's like eating as much popcorn as you want!

I thought I might need to add some toppings to make them tolerable, but that would be WAY too extreme. They're perfect on their own!

Conclusion: fat women are complainers.

Racism

I got in a lot of trouble the other day when I was doing a good thing: sponsoring kids.

Just because they weren't African kids the cops/parents got all pissed off. Racists.

I should get to decide where my charity dollars go!

Self Analysis

Sometimes I think my life would have turned out differently, better, if I wasn't constantly haunted by memories of failed piggybacks.

Jacked Off

Women wearing pink jumpers is a strange thing. Their age says a lot.

An old woman wearing a pink jumper is fine. They lost their taste long ago (same time as they lost their teeth) so we can't say anything bad about their wardrobe decision.

On the other hand, I have never seen a middle-aged woman wearing a pink jumper that has appeared to be relaxed and able to cope with life.

And we can't forget about young women wearing pink jumpers. They're either a slut or mentally retarded.

Although that is pretty much the same thing. (haha j/k, it's cool to fuck around that doesn't make you mentally retarded woo feminism and women's lib!)