A Rose

That was weird.

I was just out on the street and some big guy came up to me and started calling me all these names. Really awful names. Like Clancy and Alistair. He even dropped the N-bomb too (Nicholas).

And when I said I was none of those names and started crying, he gave me a really scary look and walked off.

I'm shaken up.

A Preamble to Lust

I saw her sitting on the stairs.

She saw me look at me and smiled, flirtatiously.

I smiled at her, flirtatiously, and sat down on the bench nearby.

After a while she walked over and sat down.

"Do you always follow guys on the station?" I asked, flirtatiously.

"Sometimes," she said, smiling flirtatiously.

I shed a tear (flirtatiously), knowing that my first promising interaction with a woman all year (in fucking LATE JUNE?) was with what appeared to be a slut, flirtatiously.

Hur Hur

I got a portfolio for Rudd right heeeeeere.

*points to environment

I think he'd go alright...

Guest Poster: Jobe's Girlfriend

Hey, you're back! I must be beautiful.

Hey, I'm doing that thing that you used to think was cute when we started going out but now it just fills you with the feeling of regret.

Woooo look at me doing it. I know you hate me doing it but nonetheless I am doing it!

Guest Poster: Jobe's Girlfriend

Why aren't you in the living room right now?

Am I ugly or something?

Guest Poster: Jobe's Girlfriend

I'm just a little quiet right now. Nothing's wrong.

I'm FINE.

Guest Poster: Jobe's Girlfriend

I'm really happy! I love being with Jobe!