Things Not To Say In Front Of Someone You Just Met

#532: "Oh, man. I can't wait to put my pants on!"

Revolutions

Me: "How did you spend your new years?"

Friend #1: "Playing World of Warcraft."

Friend #2: "I was downloading World of Warcraft."

Me: I NEED NEW FRIIIIIIIENDS

Letters and Numbers

My mum sent me an email asking me if I had any news.

"Nothing to write home about," I wrote, initially oblivious to the irony. Then not caring about the irony, as I hit 'Send'.

My Flappy Part

I think I might be part moth. Because MAN do I hate the smell of mothballs.