There Are Two Types of People

Those that like "experience" gifts.

And those that don't.

Relationsheeeeeps

I came home late unexpectedly the other night (had to work late and phone ran out of battery) and MAN did my girlfriend (who, ironically, is not a man) get shitty.

"Have you been out cheating on me, you FUCK?"

Yeah, hi, sweetheart.

But it was like 36 degrees that day and I decided that a joke on the heat would be a good way to diffuse the situation.

"Nah, it's too hot to cheat on you, babe."

Now... apparently, that is the wrong answer.

FYI

I just filed all of my recipes by ethnicity/origin. But now it seems like the sort of thing a racist would do.

Just FYI.

Love Movies?

Lately, I've been hastling my agent to get me a gig, since it's been like FOUR YEARS since my last paying role.

CLUE: JAZZ WAS INVOLVED

Anyway, there's one project he keeps trying to get me to do. It's an erotic thriller. Which normally I'd be all over, but he's the director...

He seems a bit TOO keen.

In Da Mouse

I was talking to a friend and he was telling me how he got laid last night. I asked him if the girl was attractive (because I assume that's what you ask). He said yes. He said she was a bit mousey looking and quite "cute".

I agreed with him. Because last night I had said with a mouse that looked like a chick and it was quite good. I came VERY quickly.