Trading Places

I moved into a new house with my hotbabe companion and it turns out there's a possum in the roof.

My hotbabe companion said "looks like we have a house guest."

As I listened to the incessant scratching die down, I realised why a possum house guest is better than a human house guest. A possum fits in the freezer.

It's Nutty

I'm getting so sick of society pandering to people with nut allergies.

The other day I went into a building. On the door to that building was a large sign saying "no nuts allowed inside building due to allergies".

Fuck off.

People should be allergic to real things. Like ghosts. Or knife wounds. Fuck off with your nut allergies. They're "nut"ing HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

FAQ

Q: Jobe, do you have any home remedies for getting rid of thrush that are NOT yoghurt because I have ALREADY TRIED yoghurt and do not wish to try it again.

A: Maybe stop being a slut?