A Quick Thankyou

Just wanted to say thankyou for all of the kind birthday witches. I never knew witches could be so nice! And such a thoughtful present!

AVO Go at That!

I spoke to my agent today, to make sure he knew I was still alive (he always fears that I'm going to die).

I asked him if he had any work for me and he said no (our little running joke).

I asked him what I could do to get some work.

He told me that there's been a lot of demand for celebrities that have had AVOs taken out on them. So he suggested I get one of those.

So if anyone wants me to threaten them constantly, please leave your number in the comments thread.

A Case of Inappropriate Beverage Selection (IBS)

I was having lunch in a food court today and I saw a guy having lunch alone (ed: are you sure it wasn't your reflection, Jobe?).

He seemed really sad and depressed (ed: Okay, definitely you).

But in front of him sat a bottle of Lift.

Obviously he hadn't taken the suggestion on the label.

Royal Problem

I just got an invite to the royal wedding.

Problem is, I've never met William or Kate. Kate and I emailed a couple of times a few years ago because she was a fan of the blog. But that was before she met Will and we didn't even exchange naked pics of email addresses (the latter because we already had them).

I don't really want to go since I have a few emails to send at work.

But if hotbabes are going to be there then I may have to change my mind.

Dilemma.

You Shouldn't Have Said That Jobe...

So I was chilling backstage at a big comedy show the other day, and a hotfanbabe came up to me and was flirting with me and all that sort of shit.

Things were going well until at one point she sighed and said "I bet you have a lot of girlfriends..." (as I am of "The Fame")

But I got a strange reaction when I tried to fend off the comment and tell her that I hate people and find the idea of relationships backwards and sickening.

"Nah, I don't really do... people..."

It didn't help that at that moment a seagull flew into the bar. I think she was expecting it to come over and tell her that it was my ex. But I had never seen that seagull before.

Tricky Situation

Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if I turned out this way because I wasn't asked enough trick questions as a child.

Things would have been so different...

WTOMH TV - Episode 1

RIP Jobe

I went to a fortune psychic today and she told me how I'm going to die.

She said that I'm going to be killed by a drunk driver. Apparently he's going to stab me.

The party was going well until...

I got an awkward reaction to the question, "just how many of you are trannies?"