Babe 2: Pig in the City

Someone at work had a baby recently and she was showing me the picture.

I tried to compliment her by saying that the baby looked immaculate.

Turns out that's something that single, creepy guys shouldn't say.

On Friday, Friday

I love going out on the weekend and dressing like a woman: with no regard for the seasons.

Handy in the Bedroom

You're such a bitch.

I could count the number of times I've wanted to fuck you on one, massively disfigured hand.

Because I like bitches.

Okay, Blood Stains

It's just you and me now.

(Okay, blood stains)

In Development

Coming soon, my new reality TV show: "Well One of Us Has to Kill Him..."

Hope you guys watch it.

Go Back Is Back!

Following on from the success of "Go Back to Where You Came From", SBS have announced a second season: "Go Back to Where You Came From 2"

In this season, 6 racist aborigines are given the migrant journey in reverse. They're sent to England by boat and forced to steal bread.

Hosted by Nicky Webster.

It's Complicated

Easiest solution to the debate around whether gay marriage should be legal:
- Yes, but gay divorce is still illegal.

Sanctity of marriage = protected
Gays = married

AND THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE