Studious

I think there's a link between how nice a chick is and how insane she is, in relation to how long it takes for the smile to fade from her face after the friend that she's talking to leaves.

I've done graphiti.

He Say Cliche

I wonder what the girl that was so desperately afraid of being a cliche despite being one is up to right now. I bet it's going to end in sex!

Girl: No it won't/ I'm so offended!

Girl in 24 hours: It just happened, okay. That doesn't mean you're right!

Misrapen

I was browsing through the MX on the train the other day and this chick sees what I'm looking at and shakes her head (no, not at MX's questionable journalistic quality).

I just HAPPENED to be on the glamour pages and there just HAPPENED to be some scantily clad femalians. Total accident. I was looking for the horoscopes!

But here's this bitch of a bitch looking at my like I'm a rapist for looking at pictures of scantily clad women.

But it's all bullshit.

Sure, I would rape the celebrity chicks if I had the chance. But I probably never will get the chance!

He(brew)llo

A jewish guy on the street asked me if I was jewish.

I said no. But I should have said yes, in case he was going to tell me about their plan to kill all of the round-eyes.

I Saw The Sign

So I finally figured out why mothers instantly fall in love with their babies:

- You're the best looking thing that has EVER come out of my cunt.
- My cunt is amazing.

10

Met this amazing woman on the weekend.

Mature.

Beautiful.

Smart.

Funny.

Smells nicer than my cats.

Passionate.

Doesn't like compliments.

{OMG TRUTH SERUM}

If I ever pissed my bed (or anything/one) for that matter) I wouldn't tell you, blog readers.

{OMG TRUTH SERUM}

Magic Tricks

No, I won't tell you when I'm going to cum.

But...

I'll give you hints.