On Children (Not Physically...)

I really don't want to have kids right. There are so many reasons why I DON'T want to have a childs.

There is one reason why I want to have kids: to right the wrongs of how my parents raised me.

That's right, I want to have kids so I can impress them with my awesome taste in music.

My parents fucked that part up. I was a young, curious, warm-blooded child, discovering this "music thing" for the first time, scouring the house for whatever I could find. Soon after I was in my room, sitting in the dark, listening to an LP of Elton John's "Benny and the Jets" for hours on end.

No wonder I grew up to be so fucked. There is a set number of times you can listen to Benny and the Jets in the dark before you go mental (12).

If I have a kid I know I won't have to worry.

"Oh, shit, little... Jimmy (?)... has gotten into my 80's post-punk collection again! How... awesome!"

Doggone

Fucking neighbours dog won't shut up.

I keep throwing rocks at it (and hitting it, mind you) but it keeps fucking whimpering.

I'm going insane.

AD Korner

I'm starting a band.

I can't play music or sing but I can tell you if the music is good or not.*

Let me know if you want to join my band.







* Subjective.

When someone goes on about how they only eat healthy, natural food I can't help but want to see just how superior their shit is to mine.

I imagine it's a perfectly formed log that comes out right on schedule, on demand, and they never have to wipe.